To Eric, Both of my girls require special education. They operate at about a 10-year-old’s level. In public, they are also nonverbal. Their chances of ever dating anyone, let alone having kids, are quite slim. Therefore, I probably won’t ever become a grandmother. I want to know how I handle the grief that I experience.
Lamenting the Future
To the Future: It’s a good idea to discuss your feelings honestly with a therapist, friends, and other parents of children with special needs. Although laying everything out won’t immediately let the sadness go away, it will feel easier to handle. You’re dealing with a lot as a parent. It probably feels lonely. Therefore, it’s crucial to remind yourself that you’re not alone and that you don’t have to deal with difficult emotions by yourself.
It’s also critical to keep in mind that you might find the love and emotional bond of grandparenthood in a variety of partnerships. It’s beneficial to consider the individuals in your life and how you can support one another as life progresses, even if this certainty feels like a chilly comfort right now. It serves as a helpful reminder of your support system.
Finally, consider what you would want as a grandparent. The simple pleasure of loving and caring for another child—and then returning them to their parents at the conclusion of a visit—could be the reason. However, it might be a more nuanced desire. Feeling this way is perfectly OK. However, examining the underlying causes of this grief will help you discuss it, resolve it, and come up with future options.
Stories by
R. Eric Thomas
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Asking Eric: How do I tell chosen family I m not up for expanding Christmas dinner guest list
For inquiries, contact R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.
