Greetings, Abby Up until recently, my mother, who is 95 years old, was in good health. She is content at an independent living facility.
Since her heart has weakened and she is currently receiving palliative care, I am the primary caregiver for her medical needs.
In order to monitor and record Mom day and night, my sister Julie, who lives out of state, has made the decision to install a camera in her house. Even though Mom doesn’t mind the camera, I find it unsettling to be watched and monitored all the time when I visit and help her.
If I cover the camera while I’m there, Julie gets upset. I hear the camera pan around the room and focus on us as soon as I take off the cover. Is it incorrect of me to desire privacy when I see my mother? — COLORADO CAMERA-SHY
DEAR CAMERA-SHY: The purpose of the camera is to allow someone to watch your mother when she is alone herself. The camera shouldn’t be necessary if you are present. I’m going to presume that you’ve told your sister that you don’t want your visits to be tracked, yet she still does it. Don’t forget to expose it before you depart, but feel free to cover it while you’re there.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
