To Annie, please: About a year ago, I took an early retirement from a demanding profession. I currently work part-time at an office alongside another full-time secretary who began working there at the same time as me. She spends the most of her day on her phone or shopping online, and she assigns me the majority of the job. Since the office may be rather slow, I occasionally use my phone for personal chores after finishing my work to kill time.
My coworker is always on her phone, unlike me. She talks to other employees in our building, makes personal calls, dictating to-do lists, arguing with family members (for months, it was over her father’s inheritance and will), arranging appointments, texting, and even constantly checking her home security cameras. She never stops using it! On dull days, though, I simply check my out of boredom.
She made it obvious when I started that I would be in charge of taking care of all phone calls, emails, faxes, and foot traffic, so I do all of that while she stays away from work. In front of our employer, she once said, “I’m on my phone all the time, just like [her] kids,” demonstrating her delusions about her own phone use. I seldom ever use my phone at work, so I just remained silent in shock.
I’ve never done this before, and here’s the problem. When I looked at my phone at work recently, I saw that a friend of mine who runs a business was posting a live video on social media. I put in one earbud that was attached to my cell phone while I was still taking office calls because I wanted to catch it. After a minute or two, the doorbell rang, so I took out my headphone to answer it. When I got back, my coworker had ruined my headphones in the thirty seconds it took. The ear cushions were gone, and the small metal speakers were disconnected and hanging from wires that protruded from the ends! You can see the glue lines where the ear cushions were broken off, but she pretended it was a mystery and said the components must have accidentally fallen off. The headphones can’t be used anymore.
What ought I to do? I feel compelled to put up with my coworker’s behavior because she is close to our boss and even spends time with her outside of work. This time, though, she went too far by even stepping on my property, much less ruining it! Despite being in her late 40s, this woman behaves like a child in elementary school! Sometimes she gets along well with me and gives me presents or tokens, but other times she becomes unfriendly or does things like this out of the blue. She micromanages everything I do, but we seldom ever communicate because she’s usually on personal calls. She is a backstabbing control freak, which is why I hate going to work.
She even once dug through my trash, saying she was looking for post-it notes that could be recycled. Since it feels like such a privacy violation, I now take personal notes home to discard. I can hardly stand working with her for even a half-day. What a waste of my quiet retirement job! Regretfully, I receive a very good salary, and my job is much more relaxed and flexible than the one I left behind when I retired. Considering how close the boss and I are, should I even bother to speak with them? I’m stuck. — Captured in a Toxic Workplace
To Trapped, The actions of your coworker are completely unacceptable. But you’re right—and wise—to want to tread carefully because she’s acquainted with your employer. Keep a record of these transgressions and attempt to speak with her directly about them. Asking her not to handle your personal items is reasonable, at the very least.
If nothing changes, think about bringing the matter up with your boss, if you don’t have one, or your HR representative first. It will be more well received if you emphasize that your primary goal is to maintain a positive work environment and instead concentrate on your desire to better balance office responsibilities rather than your coworker’s character.
Think carefully about how much more of your retirement you want to give up for financial gain and flexible scheduling if all else fails. No salary is worth the ongoing tension and annoyance.
For Annie Lane, send inquiries to [email protected].
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