Greetings, Miss Manners At a restaurant, my spouse and I frequently split a bottle of wine. He pours himself extra after the first glass rather than waiting for the waiter.
Even if it takes filling his glass to overflowing, he will make the extra effort to complete the bottle. He says, “If you want any more, you can drink from my glass,” in response to my startled expression.
This is really impolite, in my opinion. What ought I to do?
PERSONAL READER: Unlike rolling stones, relationships that experience friction frequently tend to accumulate a variety of stray debris. So let’s get this one out of the way.
Miss Manners assumes you concur that finishing the bottle of wine you ordered is not illegal. She also reassures you that it’s okay to refill the glasses on your own without the waiter’s assistance.
Your husband’s answer was impolite enough, but it came after your astonished expression rather than before it. You were horrified to see him overfilling his glass.
So, was it impolite of him to not refill your glass as well as his own? Indeed. “Dearest, could you please refill my glass when you refill yours next time?” is what you should say.
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Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
