To Eric, I assumed that I was two months pregnant. I met Steve at a concert three months ago. In just a few weeks, our relationship progressed swiftly and we were intimate.
Steve can’t wait for the baby. It would be his first time. He has gone so far as to propose to me right now.
The infant is four months old, not two, according to the doctor I saw for a checkup the other day. There isn’t any misunderstanding.
I had a quick run-in with another man a few weeks before to meeting Steve. He cheated on me, therefore it didn’t end well. To be honest, when I first met Steve, I was unaware that I was already pregnant.
How can I be honest with Steve? He would be devastated to learn that this much-anticipated child is not indeed his. I might be left all alone if he dumps me. Trust will always be a problem between us, even if he stays.
He is intelligent. He will eventually realize that the infant is older than our relationship.
At a Turning Point
Stories by
R. Eric Thomas
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Asking Eric: I m afraid we ll be held responsible for slacker BIL after my husband s mother dies
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Asking Eric: Is there a kind way to break up with hairstylist whose work has been slipping?
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Asking Eric: I ve pushed my adult son to get a better job so he can move out, but he s very resistant
To Crossroads, Whether or not the kid was his, you and Steve will need to have these difficult but essential talks for the long-term health of your relationship.
It’s possible to fall deeply in love in three months, and there are undoubtedly wonderful marriages built on that first spark, but I’m concerned that the thrill you’ve both been experiencing may have overshadowed some of the necessary fundamental work. Determining where your values are similar and where they are different is part of that process. For example, you’re not a good fit and it’s better to know now if Steve feels the need to break up with you right now but you want to go down a different path together.
Additionally, you should get in touch with the child’s father to let him know about your plans and to give him the opportunity to get to know the child. If at all, it could be beneficial to be able to discuss with Steve how that relationship will impact your relationship.
Over time, trust is established and reestablished. When you can, you both have an obligation to be as truthful as you can. Tell Steve the whole truth; you want to figure out how to move forward because this is as unclear to you as it probably is to him. Regardless of bloodlines, he might be just as thrilled about co-parenting with you.
For inquiries, contact R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.
