To Eric, I sit next to a woman who occasionally shows up to rehearsals with a strong alcohol odor. I play in a community orchestra.
She informed me that she was arrested for driving under the influence. Although we don’t see each other outside of orchestra practices and performances, we are pals.
When I offered to drive her home in the past, she responded, “I’m just tired.” When I told her that she had a heavy alcohol odor, she assured me that everything would be alright.
She smelled strongly of booze when she arrived for rehearsal last night. She frequently didn’t know where we were in the music and was rather perplexed. She doesn’t usually do this.
What am I supposed to do here? Can you give her a ride without making her feel embarrassed? I would feel awful if she hurt someone or got hurt herself, but I can’t make her accept a ride. What, if anything, should I do?
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Dear Acquaintance: She poses a serious risk to herself and others if she is driving to and from rehearsal after drinking, as her actions indicate.
Therefore, doing what must be done may inevitably result in some embarrassment. I hope it doesn’t happen again, but if it does, you can be even more straightforward with her. You’re acting strangely, and I’m worried. In this condition, I don’t feel safe driving with you. I can call for assistance or I can give you a ride. However, I will feel obligated to have law enforcement check on you if you decide to go on your own.
This is merely a precautionary measure; it is not an attempt to capitalize on her prior DUI. If you witnessed an intoxicated motorist on the road, you would take the same action. She won’t face any more severe consequences than being delayed in returning home if she is detained and passes a sobriety test.
You should discuss your concerns with her and inquire if she needs assistance, even if she doesn’t arrive the next time smelling of alcohol. If she isn’t abusing alcohol, being aware of any changes in her mood and conduct may assist identify another problem.
For inquiries, contact R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram.
