Greetings, Abby I’m not pleased in my current relationship. Together, we have two children, but I’ve had enough of him.
He pushes and pulls me down whenever I try to communicate or inform him that he has offended me.
Now that I’ve been a stay-at-home mother for some time, I wish to resume my normal life. Waiting for him hand and foot, he feels like I’m at home.
I no longer desire this existence. I don’t want him to touch me or the children. He has a troubled past that includes jail and the cops. How can I regain my life while also protecting my children? — APPLYING FOR ASSISTANCE
DEAR CRYING OUT: Your abuser doesn’t give a damn about how you feel. Having a bed partner and a live-in maid is all that matters to him. Make a safe escape plan for you and your kids by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) at 1-800-799-7233. Call 911 and let the police handle him if he puts his hands on you before you can get away.
Take the kids and live with them until you can find work and start making enough money to get back on your feet, if you have family nearby, which I hope you do. Do this for your children as well as for yourself. If you don’t leave as soon as possible, they will grow up believing that your living situation is normal, which is unhealthy for all of you.
Stories by
Abigail Van Buren
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Dear Abby: He s got a fast car… but she doesn t want him taking her anywhere!
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Dear Abby: My retired husband doesn t think his alcohol use is a problem
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Dear Abby: My close relationship with my stepdad makes my husband uncomfortable
Greetings, Abby I am an elderly woman in good health who lives alone in a senior living facility. Some of my neighbors I’ve known for a long time. We are like family to me.
Jasmine, my 49-year-old daughter, has been a pill addict for the past 20 years, which is my problem. I’ve made several attempts to assist her. I’ve pleaded with her to attend counseling, but she refuses. Jasmine has some mental health issues as well.
She is barely in a relationship. She is unable to comprehend why her three children have essentially cut her off.
Jasmine is unaware that she is to blame. Despite my deep love for my daughter, I know that I am currently unable to assist her in any manner. She has destroyed all of her relationships. It’s so awful that I don’t think she will be around for very long. I frequently experience panic episodes. How can I get away with it? As her mother, I am unable to change it. — CONSIDERING IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR GIVING UP: I sincerely apologize for Jasmine’s dismal outlook. We are forced to accept what ultimately occurs when there is nothing more we can do to save a loved one from themselves.
It’s important to discuss your personal mental health with a professional who can support you through the upcoming challenges. For your panic attacks, your doctor might be able to help. You might be able to get emotional assistance from your religious advisor. It would be best to have a qualified counselor, close friends, or a bereavement support group. Do not hesitate to get in touch.
Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
